Two Maryland High School Teenage Girls Abuse Autistic Student, One of Their Parents Notifies Police

Two teenage girls in southern Maryland abused and bullied an apparently autistic 16-year-old boy into performing sexual acts and crashing through pond ice in episodes they captured on cellphone video, authorities said Wednesday. The girls, ages 17 and 15, threatened the teen with a knife, kicked him in the groin and dragged him around by his hair according to law enforcement. 

They coerced him into walking on a partially frozen pond and then refused to help him out of the frigid water. Police said the boy got out himself, but the prank could have turned deadly. All three teens attend Chopticon High School in Morganza, MD.

"You're dealing with somebody who doesn't have the mental capacity of you and I," she said. "Somebody like that could go into a kiddie pool and may not be able to get themselves out. That's what's really kind of disturbing to us, among the other allegations in this case. The whole thing's just very disturbing."
She said investigators haven't found any of the video online.

• The 17-year-old, Lauren A. Bush, of Mechanicsville, MD was charged as an adult Tuesday with first- and second-degree assault, false imprisonment and solicitation for child pornography. She was released on her own recognizance.

• The 15-year-old was charged as a juvenile with the same offenses and referred to the state Department of Juvenile Services. The sheriff's office didn't release her name.

Police said both girls acknowledged they committed the offenses. They also said the boy's parents told police he is autistic and police described him as having "diminished mental capacity."

HOW DID THEY FIND OUT: 

PARENT OF ONE OF THE ABUSERS. 

Police learned of what happened from a parent of the younger girl who had seen the video on her daughter's phone. The parent showed it to a sheriff's deputy who works in the school. There is no evidence other students joined the bullying. Police said more charges are likely as investigators list offenses for each episode that authorities say occurred from early December to early February.

A Parent Of One Of The Abusers Contacted Police Because It Was The Right Thing 

Combating Girl vs Girl Bullying Program: The Kind Campaign

Interesting Article about an Anti-Girl Bullying Program

Great article by Alyssa Longobucco (Self Magazine) about two Pepperdine University students (Lauren Parsekian and Molly Thompson) who founded The Kind Campaign. Interesting to see her shared views on an anti-bullying campaign targeted specifically towards females. While it is important to look at the effects of bullying on all students, this article made me think about the unique needs of each gender in that regard. also, the preventative educational measures can be tailored for each gender to be more effective. Also thought the author's insight that youthful bullies can, and often will, grow up to be adult bullies adds more urgency into these anti-bullying campaigns to increase civility and respect not only in our schools, but our society at large. Great article.

Irate Parent Confronting A Student in School Cafeteria

One month prior, the March 29th post titled Irate Parent & The Response of School Leadership. http://schoolpreparedness.blogspot.com/2011/04/irate-parents-response-of-school.html talked about a disruption at CT school in Thomaston. (I suggest you review that post for the recommended protocols).

Now on April 29th in East New Haven at Joseph Melillo Middle School (pictured above) a warrant has been sworn out for the arrest of a parent who allegedly (after receiving a cell phone call from her daughter) came to school and confronted another student in the cafeteria during the school. An excerpt from the story is as follows:     

        

INCIDENT: What precipitated the confrontation? According to East Haven PD an official stated:  “I guess there was a situation ... where there was food being thrown, and this girl called her mother from the cafeteria, saying that this other girl was throwing food at her.”  “I guess she’s had problems with her in the past.” According to police, “it appears the parent was ‘buzzed’ in the front door but did not follow the clearly printed rules,” which require visitors to report directly to the main office. The school has a security camera that shows who is at the front door, but does not have a camera that covers the area between the door and the office, he said. But he said the incident “happened so quickly,” and that as soon as the secretary realized that the woman hadn’t come to the office, she told Principal and they went looking for her. “Instead, she stormed into the cafe and confronted a female student about a situation regarding her daughter,” police said. The mother “went up to the other girl, and from what the other officer was telling me, got physical with her,” he said. “A male student tried to stop the parent and was pushed away by that parent,” police said.

East Haven Police Department Youth Detective Michael D’Amato said the investigating officer, will seek a warrant to charge the mother, whom police have not yet identified, with breach of peace. There may be other charges as well, he said.

What should the Irate Mother Have Done If She Was Concerned:  “Regardless of what the situation was between her daughter and the other girl, the parent had no right to take the situation into her own hands by entering the school and confronting anyone other than the principal,” police officials said. “She should have gone to the main office to the principal and handled it the proper way,” he said. 

 FINAL THOUGHTS: 

• Students and Parents need to know and be reminded of how to respond if they are being bothered by someone in school. Contacting a teacher, guidance counselor, housemaster or vice principal, or principal OR even the police are a multitude of options for a student or parent to use to solve a problem.
• Students and parents need to be reminded of the PROPER way to contact each other during the school day. 
• Parents and students calling each other and texting each other throughout the school day are an interruption to the educational process. It happens more often then people may think. This does not even address student to student calling and texts which is highly disruptive and can be used for nefarious purposes or have unintended consequences.
• Parent or student communication during the school day will be addressed in a future blog.           

A Peer Intervening Can Generate Positive Peer Pressure Against a Bully

A Student Demonstrating Moral Courage & Character Can Generate Positive Peer Pressure To Stop A Bully's Efforts.

MSNBC conducted an investigative report (see link) on teen behavior to bullying by generating a false story about boy's conducting physical fitness activities. With their parents observing by hidden camera, the video amply demonstrates 2 boys (actors) harassing another boy (an actor) who was extremely non-athletic. The verbal bullying and occasional physical contact (grabbing & slight pushing) clearly makes the unwitting boys participating uncomfortable about the continued bullying. As it escalated, one young man spoke up in support of the bullying victim. This boy speaking up then emboldened the other boys to become more supportive of the victim and put pressure on the bullies to stop.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/vp/41831581#41831581

We need to empower students to speak up individually and collectively to challenge bullying behavior and actions anywhere and anytime it occurs. Speak up and Report to an Adult is what we need to promote. 

Teen Suicide Due To Sexting

THE DANGERS OF TEEN AGE TEXTING and ONLINE

In September 2009, a 13-year-old girl in Florida named Hope Witsell hanged herself. Raised in a rural Florida suburb, she was the only child of a church-going couple who met in the post office where they're both employed.  Hope's suicide became the second with a clear link to sexting and the peer torture that can follow from it. At the end of seventh grade last spring, Hope sent a photo of her breasts to a boy she liked, and the picture went viral at her school. "Tons of people talk about me behind my back and I hate it because they call me a whore!" Hope wrote in her journal before her death.

Jessie Logan, who was 18 and lived outside Cincinnati, hanged herself last July after nude photos she sent to her boyfriend circulated widely among teenagers she knew. What explains this awful chain of events that leads to tragedy? Is this just the usual bullying, only with different tools, or a distinct harm unto itself? And are these isolated cases or legitimate cause for the wider uproar over sexting?

Points To Consider:
With each technological change in our student's lives, we must consider the positive and negative consequences. Parents need to monitor, and if warranted, modify the texting features of their kids to ensure their kids are doing the right things at the right times.

Cyber Bullied To Death: Megan Meier

http://www.meganmeierfoundation.org/

Torrington Middle School Teacher and students invited Ms. Tina Meier to speak to their school about cyber-bullying. Ms. Meier is the mother of Megan Meier (a seventh grader) who committed suicide in 2006 after being cyber-bullied by a group of people who posed as a 16 year old boy on the social networking site, MySpace.  The virtual boy feigned interest in her for five weeks and then ended the virtual relationship, and then harassed her. In a few days of cyber harassment, she hung herself in her closet. This was one of the first publicized cases of cyber-bullying.  This also raises the issue of how strongly influencial social networking sites can be on children before they come of a mature enough age.

Tip: Parents can monitor these sites, but not the instant messaging features on those sites. 

Recommended Book: A Young Girl's Perspective From Being Bullied

Recommended Book:
Please Stop Laughing at Me...One Woman's Inspirational Story by Jodee Blanco

As a male high school teacher, I was trying to gain some insights from a female perspective on the the high school experience and picked up this (NY Time Bestseller) book. It was extremely enlightening on the topic of bullying especially from the perspective of the author as a young girl in middle school and high school. She does an excellent job of describing the experience of emotional cruelty that can ocur in our school if we are unaware and not in tune with our students, and most importantly take a "kids will be kids" approach to bullying. This young girl was highly intelligent and came from a great set of parents whose adult philosophy of "ignore these small minded" or "show them how strong you are by ignoring them" kids is not a successful approach with kids. IF VICTIMIZED, YOU HAVE TO EMPOWER YOUR CHILD TO RESIST AND PROTECT THEMSELVES AND THEIR PRIDE. She is an accomplished adult but the book is written from her perspective as a young girl. THIS BOOK IS A MUST READ AND WILL SHOCK YOU.

• Bullies can destroy your self-worth and cause you to hate yourself 
• A bullied child effects the entire family
• Biggest problem with school bullying is mass denial
• Kids intentionally academically underperforming to not be labeled.
• Bullies never remember, and victims never forget
• Kids taking a Bully or Be Bullied Approach (Kid Cycle of Social Survival)
• Don't align with other victims because they are glad it isn't them
• A student standing up and doing the right thing as a kid in a school environment where the adults don't reinforce (as a social teaching moment) and actively support this behavior can be disasterous. 
• Sometimes the issue becomes Teen Popularity NOW vs Adult Character LATER 
• Unsupervised slumber parties or mixed gender parties without proper parental supervision can have disasterous and life-altering consequences for kids
• Transferring schools or even moving does not fix the bullying problem for the victim
• Parents considering their child a misfit that doesn't fit in or referring them (the victim) to a psychologist, can distract adults away from the source of the problem (the bullies). 
• Why doesn't anyone consider THE BULLY going to see a psychologist or couseling?
• The importance the "network" of adults play in our child's development process and sense of security (bus drivers, cafeteria workers, custodians, school nurse, librarians, school security not just teachers, housemasters, guidance counselors, and principals)
• Social proximity and density in a classroom (who sits next to who and how close, small group activities, same or mixed gender) can increase or decrease issues, but not solve the problem.
• As an adult, knowing how to talk to a kid and make them feel comfortable and safe enough to tell you WHAT and / or WHO is bothering them is a critical teaching skill.
• Bully vicims develop a misplaced sense of justice or gratitude ("thanks for not teasing me or for ignoring me...I understand why you can't talk to me.") or normalcy (I get picked on everyday)
• Physical attacks, improper touching, damage to property in the guise of bullying or "just kidding around" need to be identified and treated as CRIMES or violations of school property. Administrators can enable bullying if proper consequences are not dealt to students violating anti-bullying policies. (If I punish these students they will make it even worse for you...)
• End result is confiding in adults = more bullying and pain
• Truancy and absentee-ism can become a safety net (I can't be bullied if I am not in school or do not go to that class)
• Parents, if your child is victimized don't let physical assaults get "watered down" involve the school resource officer or police, and if substantiated PRESS CHARGES!!! The bully (s) will be emboldened if you don't and it sends a message to the school body that this will not be tolerated. It adds teeth to the school policies.  

    Read this book it will increase your level of awareness of the frailty and social challenges facing teenagers and how you the adult (parent, teacher, administrator, etc) can play a more effective role in ensuring that what happend to Jodee would not happen in your school or family.