Cyber Bullied To Death: Megan Meier

http://www.meganmeierfoundation.org/

Torrington Middle School Teacher and students invited Ms. Tina Meier to speak to their school about cyber-bullying. Ms. Meier is the mother of Megan Meier (a seventh grader) who committed suicide in 2006 after being cyber-bullied by a group of people who posed as a 16 year old boy on the social networking site, MySpace.  The virtual boy feigned interest in her for five weeks and then ended the virtual relationship, and then harassed her. In a few days of cyber harassment, she hung herself in her closet. This was one of the first publicized cases of cyber-bullying.  This also raises the issue of how strongly influencial social networking sites can be on children before they come of a mature enough age.

Tip: Parents can monitor these sites, but not the instant messaging features on those sites. 

Keeping Our Students Safe: Safe Driving Presentations

HOW TO TEACH AUTOMOTIVE SAFETY AND SURVIVAL. 

http://www.survivethedrive.org/

Recently Torrington High School sponsored a safety presentation for their students. The link is to a non-profit organization from Connecticut which conducts school presentations to increase student awareness in a preventative measure. Bob Green clarifies that there is not a car accident, but a crash! An accident don't just happen by accident, there is a reason for the crash where typically the driver is negligent by being distracted (cell phone use while driving, texting while driving, loud music, distractd by fellow kid passengers, etc.), or driving too fast for the weather, visibility, or for the driver's skill level. Driving too fast reduces the reaction time for a driver, especially an inexperienced driver. A simple thing like not having both hands on the wheel can cause a driver to not be able to manipulate the wheel to avaoid a crash. Car crashes occur mostly due to driver error.

As parents and educators teaching our kids to be safe on the roads is a lifelong skill.

Middle School Kids on Facebook...are you kidding me???

Our local newspaper ran a story, "Middle Schoolers report Facebook sex tape requests". I don't know how familiar you are with social networking sites such as FACEBOOK or MySpace, but you need to be.  It is 2010 and Web 2.0 technology is here to stay. Like any tool, the Social Networking Sites (SNS) are in and of themselves not bad, but it is HOW they can be misused and by WHOM which is the concern. An adult from a foreign country electronically entered the homes of dozens of middle school students because their parents knowingly or unknowingly left the VIRTUAL DOORS open to their kids safety. This perverted adult asked kids through Facebook (SNS) to film themselves doing inappropriate things and send it to him.
          It is my strong opinion that middle school kids should not be on social networking sites (SNS), and that high school students can be on social networking sites ONLY IF MONITORED by parents. After the age of 18, then they are adults but prior to that they need to be electronically supervised. For the high schooler, no access for parent = no access to SNS, period. (More on SNS on future blogs). Some topics for discussion:

• This foreign adult attempted to contact over 100 middle school students both male and female.
• He may have used a search engine based upon a story he saw in an online posting or newspaper article.
• MANY OF THE MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS contacted MISREPRESENTED THEMSELVES AS 18 year old ADULTS.

ON A POSITIVE NOTE:  This was reported after a cyber crime presentation was given a local group, Education Connection (from Litchfield, CT) at the middle school. The students reported it and an investigation was initiated. This is a great example of how education can be used to teach the vulnerabilities and associated responsibility that must be used in conjunction with the Internet to keep our children safe.

Video of Brother of Inskip Teacher Who Shot His Principal and Assistant Principal

Discussion: School Buses and Seatbelts

NTSB Bus accidents and occupant protective systems video:

http://www.ntsb.gov/Events/1999/buscrash/details.htm link

After a Connecticut 17 yr old student was killed in a school bus crash in February 2010, there is great discussion to institute the use of seat belts on school buses. Some of the links on the video simulate what can ocur to passengers if they are unconstrained in a crash. Kid's bodies become missiles in a crash and the laws of physics apply. We require kids to have seat belts on in every other circumstance but a school bus...? The average cost to retrofit a bus with seatbelts is $15, 000 and installing them to a new bus is $ 1, 500. Annually there are 17,000 injuries to students from school bus accidents and six are killed a year. 

What do you think?

Recommended Book: A Young Girl's Perspective From Being Bullied

Recommended Book:
Please Stop Laughing at Me...One Woman's Inspirational Story by Jodee Blanco

As a male high school teacher, I was trying to gain some insights from a female perspective on the the high school experience and picked up this (NY Time Bestseller) book. It was extremely enlightening on the topic of bullying especially from the perspective of the author as a young girl in middle school and high school. She does an excellent job of describing the experience of emotional cruelty that can ocur in our school if we are unaware and not in tune with our students, and most importantly take a "kids will be kids" approach to bullying. This young girl was highly intelligent and came from a great set of parents whose adult philosophy of "ignore these small minded" or "show them how strong you are by ignoring them" kids is not a successful approach with kids. IF VICTIMIZED, YOU HAVE TO EMPOWER YOUR CHILD TO RESIST AND PROTECT THEMSELVES AND THEIR PRIDE. She is an accomplished adult but the book is written from her perspective as a young girl. THIS BOOK IS A MUST READ AND WILL SHOCK YOU.

• Bullies can destroy your self-worth and cause you to hate yourself 
• A bullied child effects the entire family
• Biggest problem with school bullying is mass denial
• Kids intentionally academically underperforming to not be labeled.
• Bullies never remember, and victims never forget
• Kids taking a Bully or Be Bullied Approach (Kid Cycle of Social Survival)
• Don't align with other victims because they are glad it isn't them
• A student standing up and doing the right thing as a kid in a school environment where the adults don't reinforce (as a social teaching moment) and actively support this behavior can be disasterous. 
• Sometimes the issue becomes Teen Popularity NOW vs Adult Character LATER 
• Unsupervised slumber parties or mixed gender parties without proper parental supervision can have disasterous and life-altering consequences for kids
• Transferring schools or even moving does not fix the bullying problem for the victim
• Parents considering their child a misfit that doesn't fit in or referring them (the victim) to a psychologist, can distract adults away from the source of the problem (the bullies). 
• Why doesn't anyone consider THE BULLY going to see a psychologist or couseling?
• The importance the "network" of adults play in our child's development process and sense of security (bus drivers, cafeteria workers, custodians, school nurse, librarians, school security not just teachers, housemasters, guidance counselors, and principals)
• Social proximity and density in a classroom (who sits next to who and how close, small group activities, same or mixed gender) can increase or decrease issues, but not solve the problem.
• As an adult, knowing how to talk to a kid and make them feel comfortable and safe enough to tell you WHAT and / or WHO is bothering them is a critical teaching skill.
• Bully vicims develop a misplaced sense of justice or gratitude ("thanks for not teasing me or for ignoring me...I understand why you can't talk to me.") or normalcy (I get picked on everyday)
• Physical attacks, improper touching, damage to property in the guise of bullying or "just kidding around" need to be identified and treated as CRIMES or violations of school property. Administrators can enable bullying if proper consequences are not dealt to students violating anti-bullying policies. (If I punish these students they will make it even worse for you...)
• End result is confiding in adults = more bullying and pain
• Truancy and absentee-ism can become a safety net (I can't be bullied if I am not in school or do not go to that class)
• Parents, if your child is victimized don't let physical assaults get "watered down" involve the school resource officer or police, and if substantiated PRESS CHARGES!!! The bully (s) will be emboldened if you don't and it sends a message to the school body that this will not be tolerated. It adds teeth to the school policies.  

    Read this book it will increase your level of awareness of the frailty and social challenges facing teenagers and how you the adult (parent, teacher, administrator, etc) can play a more effective role in ensuring that what happend to Jodee would not happen in your school or family. 

Middle School Fight on School Bus Results in a Box Cutter Slashing

FIGHT ON SCHOOL BUS = 1 arrest, 3 suspensions, 1 injured (slashes to face & hand), and 1 school relocation

On March 17, 2010 in Waterbury, Connecticut a fight between two 14 yr old boys from North End Middle School on a school bus resulted in one boy slashing abother boy who started a fight with him. The boy who started the fight received seven stitiches to the face and six stitches to one of his hands.The fight stemmed from a previous dispute. Both boys were arrested and suspended from school. the boy with the box cutter is now placed in an "alternative education setting outside of the public schools. " A girl on the bus was also suspended for trying to hide the box cutter after the fight. (Source: Republican -American newspaper).

Points for Discussion:

• How aware are teachers and school staff (administrators, guidance counselors, security, secretaries, food service staff, etc) of student conflicts? Regardless of how insignificant a conflict between students appears or where it originates (outside of school), it can have an impact in the school environment or school activities. 
• Students carry weapons when they are afraid, feel threatened, plan to commit criminal activity, feel the need to imtimidate, mentally unstable, and plan to injure of kill others.
• How comfortable do students feel reporting problems or conflicts to the adults in your school building? This is critical to developing preventive or interventive measures to stop students from hurting one another or themselves. 
• Every member of the school staff and teachers needs to actively and openly promote that students need to immediately report threats of or acts of physical altercations, intimidation, bullying, or criminal activity. Countering the child-like or criminal mindset of "Stop Snitching" needs to be addressed as a dysfunctional philosophy which only protects criminals and bullies and has no place in the adult world they hope to join someday. This priming is essential to teaching them to advocate for themself and feel empowered vice be victims.
• Physical Altercations, Weapons, and Bullying (Intimidation) need to be addressed severely to send the message that this will not be tolerated in a school environment, school activities, or society at large.